“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”
― Pema Chödrön
― Pema Chödrön
To those that posted critical but heartfelt and kind comments, I thank you for helping me see the complex nature of the situation and for realizing the unintended impact of my post. To those moved to comment with harsh and hurtful words, I apologize for eliciting such a reaction.
Caring for my mother as she died of ovarian cancer has had a heavy impact on my perspective and outlook on life. I hope only to spend everyday learning the shortcuts to love and compassion and I currently find myself lacking the same drive to justify past actions. It is only love and compassion that will breed kindness so it seems counter intuitive to castigate someones name or business in the hope of fostering any form of a positive reaction.
I am sorry to Judy and Terrapin Farm, I greatly appreciate the experience and knowledge I gained from both the situation and all persons involved. After all, it is a part of who I am today.
Happy Farming.
“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”
― Pema Chödrön
― Pema Chödrön
18 comments:
Whoa, Natalie. Whoa.. You did the right thing getting the hell out of there. You should report that so-called business to the BBB & write an editorial for the local newspaper about how horrible the conditions are there. Calling the police sounds pretty good too, but that won't work if it's an under-the-table type place. Still, something in the news will stir things up in quiet old Montana. Heh heh. Teach Judy a thing or two. You could even leave a post below her craigslist posts exposing what she does.
On the upside, I visited an amazing place called Navdanya, an organic research farm in India: http://www.navdanya.org/. You should check it out if you can. I bet you could get a Fullbright or Watson to go do research there. I'm definitely going back.
Have to pack for my flight to Pakistan.. Enjoy Glacier!
Love,
Tabby
Hey! This was the first entry I could find for that farm:
http://attrainternships.ncat.org/internDetail2.asp?id=98
If you talk to the people who run that site, maybe they can write bad stuff. We could also make a website about that strange little town in Montana where everyone knows everyone and prolly has mass orgies so they don't wanna expose Judy or she'll let some nasty pics surface.
Hey, Thanks for posting about your experience. I'm actually from Kalispell and have heard some stories of Judy and have met her a few times. I am also looking to intern on a farm and the idea of Terrapin crossed my mind. Thank goodness I stumbled on your blog and found out what it it really like.
Dude! I had the same experience last summer... I got to terrapin in early august and thought it was crazy but tried to stick it out... whitefish and the people there are great, but judy is a nut case for sure and it does feel a lot more like straight up exploitation than anything else. I had wanted to write an article to expose what she has and will no doubt continue to do to eager, energetic people that come to this farm without knowing exactly what they got themselves into... but by the end of august I just wanted to get the hell out. I stayed a month and that was more than enough free labor. Stephen and I started our own union and would stop working and literally run away to the lake. I think he's still in whitefish. Anyway, I'm happy to see your blog as the first tag for terrapin on google and to anyone reading this... go to whitefish, its great, but do NOT go to terrapin!!
Well, these comments were rather enlightening! I found them as I was trying to find a website for Tarrapin Farms. I live in Lakeside, MT and work in Kalispell. The picture on the front page of the Daily Interlake 9/8/09 was a picture of someone playing "squash baseball" with some beautiful squash at Tarrapin Farms. It made me so angry to see such waste in a economy like this! I was trying to find a website to let them know how I felt. I know many families who would love to have that wasted food to eat!! Our local Salvation Army serves almost 3000 FREE meals a month to those who are struggling. I'm sure they could have made good use of the squash!
I am a died-in-the-wool BUY LOCAL advocate, But I will NOT be buying from Tarrapin Farms!!!
Oh man! I JUST talked to Judy on the phone today after sending her an email inquiring about interning there. Is it really that bad? I kinda had a feeling I should keep looking. thanks for posting this. I was gonna go there in march.
I was randomly looking to see how Judy is doing these days and was dismayed to see that this is the first google search result for "Terrapin Farm Whitefish".
Where to begin to respond? My wife and I worked for Judy in 2004 and we, too, did not make it through the season. Judy was in fact difficult, as many strong-minded, independent people are, but did not ask any more of us than any other farm apprenticeship does, as I have since learned. We were immature, and not ready for the work, to say the least. Nevertheless, we stayed for 3-4 months and learned a tremendous amount.
My Terrapin Farm experience was educational and inspiring, difficult and frustrating. Judy is a hard person to work for, as every other farmer that I've worked for has been. As I continue to make a life in farming (raising meat animals these days) I know that I would likely not still be doing this if it were not for Terrapin Farm. And that, as any farmer/mentor knows, is the best recommendation one can give.
Natalie, I suggest that you be a bit more careful of what you post on the internet. It can cause a great deal more damage than you intend.
Natalie,
In a similar vein to the previous posts, after a google search for this farm, I was really dismayed to see this hate as the first hit. I began farming in 2005 at Terrapin Farm. I didn't know really anything about what it meant and what it took to raise food. I learned it was hard. Mentally and physically exhausting, as well as frustrating at times (Glacier Park helped that!). 6 more years of farming have taught me, though, that it is always mentally and physically exhausting. But yes, beautiful and rewarding.
Yes, Judy is a difficult woman to work for. We didn't always see eye to eye on everything, and often her communication style only exacerbated a problem. She may not be the ideal mentor for everyone, but
like any internship, you get what you put into it, be that in questions or really getting your hands dirty.
Judy's internal strength, to grow food in that climate, and manage a long-running successful small farm is the best of what you could hope for in a small farmer. Judy is a treasure of knowledge and experience.
My experience at Terrapin started me on a farming career that I continue to the present day. I credit Judy with getting me started on that path. She didn't gloss over the struggle that is making a living dependent on weather. I had an honest view into a life that is so often romanticized. Some things in life don't fit conveniently into a 40 hour work week, and not all relationships are easy.
Think outside yourself and consider that your bad experiences may not be the norm. Many people have worked for and with Judy through the years, and have used that experience as a positive seed for their growth.
Spencer
To Kevin and Spencer and anyone else that feels this way after reading my post. Thank you for commenting. It is the open comment forum that makes such strong posts as mine fair. I'm sorry that this shows up so quickly on google. It didn't use to be that way. Write a positive post about your experience and hopefully it will be read along side mine so people can understand that we are all just humans writing about our personal time and situation sensitive experience. I'm just hoping to help people make educated decisions when choosing to whom they give their free labor and open minds. Happy Farming.
I interned at Terrapin before the house was built, when there was only one intern (me) and the bunkhouse wasn't yet built (there was only a teepee.) From what I've seen on my trips back, things are now far easier. Like Kevin and Spencer, I have no illusions about the intensity and fierceness Judy is capable of, and I had difficulty with her at times. But I also know that her challenging qualities are matched by a degree of love, commitment, knowledge and generosity that is rare amongst folks I have known in my lifetime. We poured our guts into that earth, and I pushed myself in ways I never did before not so that Judy could make some profit or get the satisfaction of abusing me but because it was what that job required. Every ounce of energy I put into Terrapin Farm was returned to me tenfold as the bounty came forth. In surrender to the work came as meditative a state as I’ve experienced in my life. Just as the endless supply of organic grains and peanut butter (and legumes and cheese and eggs) was eventually made perfect by the endless supply of vegetables we grew to compliment them. Just as the demands of planting and weeding gave way first to long summer days that always had time for a swim somewhere or guidance on something I wanted to learn, and then to a harvest that was ecstatic and made us both proud. And just as my willingness to stand toe to toe with and challenge Judy's wild nature allowed me to keep a channel open to her and that part of the world- which is every bit as wild- and to see her as the whole person she is rather than as some grisly characterture. The wild beauty of that landscape could never have been so sweet and eternally seared into my psyche if I had not given as much as I did. Natalie's assertion that strong comments such as hers are “fair” because this is "an open forum" is a rationalization. Reminding us that such posts used to not show up so quickly on google is hollow consolation because she states, "if I can, I will take Terrapin down in anyway I can." It disturbs me to think that someone who ultimately invested so little in a place could have any such power defining or influencing how other people see it. Her story is at times witty but is to me an offense because it comes at the expense of another and their life's work.
David, I agree, I was a little too mean. I guess I was really fired up back in 2008. I've deleted the more emotionally charged part. I also wrote another post after I found out my personal blog was hitting so high on google. Thanks for sharing your great experience, it sounds life changing. We all have our paths I guess. Best of luck to you.
After reading these comments, I feel compelled to leave one of my own. I interned with Natalie that summer at Terrapin Farm, with Judy. I know that this blog post was written within days of our traumatic departure from the farm in early June, and therefore I sympathize completely with the emotion in it.
I continue to believe what we experienced at that farm was tremendously wrong. I have worked many jobs, but have never been screamed at like I was by Judy. I have also never witnessed other people being yelled at as I did by Judy. By mid-May, an intern could not do right. It was a terrible, terrible experience and it left me feeling incredibly disillusioned about farming, about people, about everything.
Sure, Natalie's words here are still raw. But her reason for feeling angry is 300% justified. And the situation had zero to do with a lack of investment on the interns' part (I was there from the end of February until mid-June and was extremely invested in my experience there. I had given up a lot for that opportunity). There is a difference between hard work, and abuse. During our time there, this farm leaped waaaaayyy over that line. Others that are thinking about interning here deserve to at least know what they are potentially getting themselves into. It's a risk. Make it a calculated one, with information from LOTS of sources. Consider these comments valuable input. I've worked at many other farms since. It is NOT like this everywhere.
I grew up on a farm in harsh climate zone 4A and I apprenticed with Judy. I now own a farm and am in the process of organic certificatoin, she prepared me for this. If you think Terrapin is a hard gig you ought to try bustin' vegies out of clay soil!
I, too, would recommend Navdanya in India for anybody who can obtain a grant or use their personal savings to go out of country to thrive with a kindred community of ecologically-minded international people and Indian agriculturalists: graduate scientists and local farmers alike. I came back from a six-month stay there this past autumn - though most it was spent in outlying areas working with family farmers rather than the NGO itself. It's pioneered by Vandana Shiva.
I'm on my way to Terrapin next week with the intention of staying on for the full-season. I worked with a very intense and neurotic woman in Maryland for the last three months of the 2010 season before winter came. I struggled in the midst of it, though in reflection I grew in responsibility - both in my knowledge of what it takes for a small farmer to truly make ends meet in this kind of economy, and in my patience and embodiment of loving kindness no matter the kinds of pressure that were put on me. In truth, it does take a level of unprecedented maturity and commitment to become a successful farmer from scratch. Apprenticeships don't vary a whole lot in my experience, and to thin the herd between who's really willing to endure the hardships (and joys) of farming and those who can work in other ways to inspire the revolution... though perhaps not meant to run their own farm as a way of livign. Some farmers have more privilege than others. Some are hobbyists and others, like Judy appears to be, are true salt-of-the-Earth people who have a lot at stake and a thin margin of profit and security. When I made my decision a few weeks ago to head to her farm, it was with the knowledge of what risks and opportunities already await to manifest themselves. This field truly is as the weather does. Nowadays, that's quite erratic. I'll keep this blog updated with the vibrations at the farm, and since we're all farmers and kin, here, feel free to email me at whimsicalpitchforks@gmail.com. I'm from the pacific northwest and am working to get a start-up running in the years to come.
We can help, teach, learn, guide, mentor, befriend, and host each other, too.
Bless!
Michael
I was just accepted as an intern for the last few months of the season at Terrapin. I've been debating on if this is the right choice for me, as I've never donean internship on a farm. I'd love to know what you experienced!
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